Protect Your Vital Regions
by ZQ
Summary: After a long evening of drinking and stewing, Switzerland decides to teach Austria a lesson in forgetting him. But did he pick the right hotel room to barge into? Kink Meme de-anon.


It had been a very long day.

Days when World Nation Meetings were held tended to be long. Very long. And very headache-inducing. Nerve-wracking as well. Switzerland couldn't forget that.

Only at those meetings could America yammer for hours, through a mouth full of hamburgers, while England tried to throttle him while screaming "CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED, YOU BLOODY CRETIN!" Russia would just...smile. That was plenty creepy. He'd also hide under the table whenever Belarus walked by. The Nordics would play some card game that apparently was strip poker. Spain would try to force-feed Romano more tomatoes. Germany would be trying to make himself heard over the din, but he'd only succeed in upsetting Italy, who would start wailing. This would set off the Baltics (whose nerves would already be frayed by the presence of Russia) and Ukraine would begin crying purely out of sympathy. The Asian countries would be screaming and pulling at each other's hair and trading punches while China tried in vain to keep order amongst them. Japan would be disinterested in the brawl and instead chat with Turkey (who of course would try to convince him to ditch the cat-loving moron and just stick with him). Prussia would show up somewhere at the table, to proclaim his awesomeness and prove that he managed to pick the lock on the meeting room door. Again. And somehow, Greece would sleep through the whole thing.

Switzerland spent a majority of the meeting obsessed with France. Or rather, France's hands. The nation got very bored very quickly, and when he got bored, his hands tended to roam to the nearest female form. And unfortunately for France, the nearest female was Liechtenstein, who was seated between the Nation of Love and her big brother.

Liechtenstein managed to stay cheerfully oblivious to the tension on either side of her, as she dutifully took notes. Switzerland spent most of the meeting keeping a gun trained on France. France spent a majority of the meeting sweating.

* * *

The meeting ran late, as America brought a super-sized bag of hamburgers this time. By the time they were let out, everyone was exhausted and complaining about migraines. Half of them went to their hotel rooms to turn in, Liechtenstein among them. The other half raced to the hotel bar. Switzerland was in that group.

It really was a shame, he mused, as he downed his first beer. So much time being wasted. Time that could be put to more productive things. As if any of them did anything productive, whether or not there was a meeting.

It was also a shame, he thought as he downed his fifth beer, that so many of his fellow nations seemed so helpless. He didn't mind looking after his little sister at all. He loved her, and would die to protect her if he had to, but others weren't so lucky as to have someone like him to look after them.

Switzerland followed up this thought by subtly nodding his head towards a corner of the bar. (He nearly fell off his stool in the process. He was sure it was coincidence.) Austria and Hungary were sitting at a table in that corner. Somehow, Austria had managed to procure a freshly-laundered and pressed linen tablecloth, a vase with flowers tastefully arranged in it, and a fine bottle of some wine or another (probably with some pretentious name). The two were chatting away, not a care in the world. As Switzerland watched, Austria slipped his hand across the table and interlaced his fingers with Hungary's.

Switzerland started on his seventh (sixth? Eighth?) beer and grit his teeth. When did Austria learn to be so charming? He never bothered with that sort of thing with Switzerland was looking after him! Was it because he wasn't a pretty woman? To hell with that!

Switzerland continued stewing in that line of thinking as he went through another beer. By the time he was about done with that, Austria and Hungary had packed up, paid their bill, and left. No doubt they were off to be all disgustingly cuddly and sweet. Switzerland snorted. Again, to hell with that! He could be just as much of a pretty body guard as Hungary could! He'd remind Austria of the good times they once had!

With some difficulty (why wouldn't the floor stop swaying?), Switzerland stood up, paid for his numerous beers, and staggered off for the elevators. Austria must have been staying at room...um...415, wasn't it? That name certainly sounded familiar. Yes, that must be it! To the fourth floor!

* * *

Upon reaching the room, Switzerland found yet another set-back: the door was stubbornly locked. No doubt so Austria and Hungary could spook or spork or whatever they did in their free time. No matter! He had a _plan_ in his brain, beer-soaked as it was, and he _would_ make it into that room!

If his memory served him - and why wouldn't it? - his room was actually right next door. He grinned as he swiped his key card to let himself in. It was all so perfect! He had been a genius when he specifically requested that he and Austria have rooms next to each other. Or at least, he was fairly sure he made that request. It _was_ Austria, right? Of course it was! Austria was who he was looking for, after all!

With these thoughts rattling in his head, he threw open the door connecting his room to the next one over.

It was dark in there, but that didn't deter Switzerland. He could still make out the bed, and the form sleeping on it. So Austria just decided to go right to sleep, did he? And seeing as he was the only one in the bed, he must have sent Hungary on her way. Fantastic news. It was the perfect time for Switerland to teach him a lesson on unguarded vital regions...

In one practiced motion, Switzerland slid (read: collapsed) onto the bed and under the sheets. He wiggled closer, so the Nation was pressed against him, and wrapped his arms around the figure. Strange. By the feel of things, Austria had become much shorter and thinner than he used to be. And began using the same brand of soap Liechtenstein did. And was wearing Switzerland's pajamas...

Switzerland nearly gagged as he flung himself out of the bed and lurched for the door. He didn't care how much noise he made, all he wanted was to get out of there, move, run, no, no, no, bad!

He slammed the door shut behind him, tore off his suit, and hid under the bedsheets. He spent most of the night mentally berating himself for doing..._that_...to his own sister, until he finally managed to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Liechtenstein slept soundly throughout the night. The only thing that disturbed her was someone crashing around in the hallway outside. But such things were normal during World Meetings, so she just rolled over and drifted back to sleep.

During the night, she had a very strange dream. She thought her brother visited her room, but she wasn't sure what happened. All that stuck with her was the sensation of a hug and the slamming of the door.

When she woke up the next morning, Liechtenstein had all but forgotten about that dream.

* * *

The next morning was not very pleasant for Switzerland. He opted to just skip the World Meeting set for that day, mostly because the prospect of bright lights and loud bickering was _very_ unappealing at that moment. He also couldn't bring himself to face Liechtenstein. God, he couldn't believe he did that! Breaking into her room like a drunken fool ("Like?", a snide voice in his head asked) and _groping_ her?

He knew he'd have to say something to her eventually. They lived together after all. But still, he was determined to at least give himself until lunch to come up with some way to apologize. Until then, he couldn't bring himself to look Liechtenstein in the face.

Switzerland also couldn't bring himself to look Austria in the face, though that wasn't quite as bit an obstacle. The Nation enjoyed a peaceful, molestation-free breakfast with Hungary, Kugelmugel, and Prussia. He completely failed to notice Switzerland blushing and staring at the stretch of wall just to the left of Austria's head. Though there _was_ the end of breakfast, when Austria lamented staying on the tenth floor of the hotel, since it meant that much more of a bother moving the luggage downstairs. At that point, he did glance towards Switzerland at the sound of the Nation slapping his aching forehead.

Switzerland was so preoccupied with his coffee that he didn't notice the other Nation joining him at his table until she delicately cleared her throat. When he glanced up and saw his sister smiling at him, he nearly fell on the floor.

"Oh, big brother!" she cried, reaching out to steady him.

"I'm fine, it's alright!" he said, trying to get a grip on himself. She didn't seem hurt or upset, after all. "Erm, are you feeling well this morning?"

"Very well, thank you," she replied. She looked carefully at Switzerland, her forehead creased with worry. "Big brother, were you drinking last night? Your eyes look very red..."

So she knew. He might as well admit it. "I was," he said. "I-I'm afraid I was so exhausted after the meeting, and I had more than I ought to have. I know it is no excuse, but I did. And I..." he shook his head, trying to clear it, "I saw Austria, and I was upset."

"Oh, big brother," said Liechtenstein. "You shouldn't let those things get to you.

"I know, but they did. I just...I think I started thinking of old times, when we were such good friends and I s-suppose I thought..." He broke off, as he felt his face heating up. He'd seen Austria with Hungary, and he'd gotten jealous. He'd been jealous and stupid and did...the things he did, all because of it. He groaned and held his head in his hands.

"Brother, are you alright?" asked Liechtenstein. "Here, I think I brought some aspirin."

He smiled at her, as she began looking through her purse. "Thank you, Lichi."

"You know," she said, offering him two pills, "perhaps you could try seeing Mr. Austria more often? If you miss him so much, that might help."

Switzerland felt his cheeks heating again. He tried to hide it by taking the pills and gulping down his coffee. "I, uh, had intended to do just that last night," he muttered.

"Oh?" Liechtenstein raised her eyebrows. "Is that why there was all that noise in the hallway last night? You were drunk and trying to find him?"

"...Yes. I'm so very, very sorry I disturbed your sleep, and -"

"There's no need to apologize," Liechtenstein interrupted, giving her brother the most innocent smile imaginable. "I fell back to sleep right after and slept soundly until morning, so there is no harm done."

She...hadn't noticed? She really hadn't realized what he'd done? All of a sudden, Switzerland found himself feeling much happier than he had all morning.

"There you go, brother!" said Liechtenstein. "The medicine seems to already be working for you."

"Yes," he said. "I think it is. In any case, I-I'm very sorry for last night."

"It's fine," she said. "Such things happen."

And with that, the matter was put away and never spoken of again.


End file.
